star shrek into farquad
My name is DK.
I just finished my first year at FSU, double majoring in astrophysics and music (classical double bass principal), and minoring in mathematics. I am somewhat of a music addict, but also quite interested in math, science, and history. Also music. And occasionally music.
If you're following me, you're likely to run into posts of the music I like, plus other random things. Despite the overall dryness and dullness of this description, I promise not to be this dry and dull if you talk to me. I may or may not actually keep that promise.
Music I like: http://phrakt.tumblr.com/tagged/music
Breaking news: Comcast-NBC has bought yahoo, bringing tumblr into the NBC family; random posts will be selected daily for middle aged women to discuss on morning shows
What’s this? Newscorp has come on the scene and bought Comcast-NBC. All posts must be prescreened by a competent team of rich white men. Bloggers found in violation of Newscorp press standards may be subject to public humiliation in Newscorp-affiliated tabloids, including the hacking of all personal files
Surely this cannot be happening. Google has now acquired Newscorp. Their latest press release reads “the puppetmaster has finally thought of a use for its puppets.” No word yet on possible involvement by Randall Munroe.
What’s this? Tumblr has bought Google. What is happening. The world financial system is in crisis. No one knows what to do. The value of the dollar has become negative. The small nation of Lesotho now owns the entire Russian Federation. Somewhere in the middle of the Pacific, a deep sea fisherman has become the richest man in the world, as his small fish market in Hawai’i has become more valuable than every other business in the world combined. The Google press release is now only available in Esperanto. God is dead.
A small child knocks on your door on a lazy sunday morning. You get out of bed only to realize you’ve been standing up this entire time, and that you’ve been waiting with your hand on the doorknob. You can’t remember when you did this but you have an insatiable urge to open the door. You open the door. It turns out you were in your office the entire time. Standing before you is Ron Paul. He is offering you time-shares in fundamental universal constants. You don’t know why but you immediately hand him all your Federally-backed monopoly money. You hear a sound from behind you, and you turn around. You are in a sitting on a long banquet table with anthropomorphic representations of all fortune-500 companies to either side of you. You look down. A small child hands you a cheque for 23 trillion zimbabwe dollars, which you immediately use to subsidize rice for afircan nations. You get out of bed. On the plate is a pie that represents the total GDP output of China for the year 2056. You hear a noise and turn to see Google offering you a cigar. You open up your laptop to find that you no longer own a majority share of your own body. The small child is knocking even harder now. You find that your feet have been replaced with dollars. For some reason Mosanto is in chains and performing crude dances while the FDA points a shotgun in its direction. You open the door to see a child with the face of Mellisa Meyers. George Washington’s face begins to malform into the physical representation of a Gogle. Seasons begin to change as the weight of the entire wealth of the western nations begins to tilt the earth’s axis. Ron Paul eyes are bulging out of his head as he begins to scream about the federal reserve backing terrorists on mars. You get out of bed. The child is crying, and when you ask why you find that the concept of collective workforce no longer exists, instead being replaced by swiss cheese. Schrodingers Cat invests all its life savings in a gamble on the FTSE 100. You get out of bed and open the door. Tumblr has been bought by Yahoo, but you have never heard of those companies before. You look up and see the face of your concrete master gazing down at you as you shuffle along in your shackles to be sold at the next auction. Fundamental laws in the universe shift for a moment, allowing everyone on earth to simultaneously own an equal share of atoms in the universe. You open the door and see Tumblr crying in the corner. You open the door.
- plot twist: yahoo buys tumblr and we get proper blocking features, lockable posts, a sent folder in messages/fanmail with a better interface, ability to search multiple tags, removal of the post and message limits, proper search engines for likes/archives and removing that bloody "reblog as a link" option.